Retreat at The Londoner Review - london Wellness spaces | Christoff

The Retreat at The Londoner: Leicester Square's Best-Kept Underground Secret

Four floors down from tourist chaos lies London's most sophisticated subterranean sanctuary

My Honest Review

Atmosphere & Ambiance

Descending four floors beneath the Leicester Square madness feels like entering another dimension entirely. The subterranean setting works brilliantly here – rather than feeling claustrophobic, the underground location creates an exclusive sanctuary vibe that's genuinely transportive. The design leans into calming neutral tones throughout, which sounds potentially bland but actually creates this zen-like cocoon effect that's remarkably effective. The centrepiece 12-meter aquamarine pool is genuinely stunning, complemented by a hydro pool, sauna, and steam room that all feel thoughtfully integrated rather than just ticked off a luxury amenity checklist. The private cabanas are a masterstroke – they've essentially solved the age-old spa problem of where to actually relax between treatments. The ultra-modern aesthetic manages to feel both cutting-edge and timeless, striking that difficult balance between trendy and enduring. With energy levels deliberately kept low and conversation practically non-existent, this truly functions as the central London escape it promises to be.

Food & Drink

The Refuel Bar takes the wellness dining concept seriously without veering into joyless territory. The menu reads like a greatest hits of contemporary health food – detox smoothies, superfood salads, and Ayurvedic bowls alongside protein snacks and fresh juices. What's refreshing is the inclusion of champagne and Wild Idol alongside all the virtuous options, acknowledging that sometimes wellness includes a bit of indulgence. The glow-up smoothie has developed something of a cult following among early morning visitors, though I can't speak to the specific flavour profiles or preparation quality based on available information. The bar operates shorter hours than the spa itself (7am-9pm versus 6am-10pm), which suggests they're taking the food offering seriously rather than just keeping a token snack counter open. For a hotel spa restaurant, having Ayurvedic bowls on the menu suggests they're genuinely engaging with wellness cuisine rather than just throwing together some salads and calling it healthy.

Service & Experience

The pre-booked slot system immediately signals this isn't your typical drop-in spa experience, and the personalized service delivers on that promise. Having reserved cabanas post-treatment is a brilliant touch that eliminates the usual spa anxiety about where you'll actually be able to relax. The integration of multiple services – Omorovicza treatments, Technogym facilities, Hiro Miyoshi hair and beauty, plus Joe Vipond grooming – suggests a well-coordinated operation rather than separate vendors sharing space. The adults-only policy (18+) is strictly maintained, which creates a more sophisticated atmosphere. Staff clearly understand they're running an exclusive experience rather than just a hotel amenity.

Value for Money

At the top price level (4/4), this isn't trying to be accessible, and the pricing reflects the exclusivity. Summer packages like the Express Summer Skin at £135 and Summer Glow Up at £200 position this firmly in luxury territory, though the Omorovicza products and private cabana access help justify the premium. The membership option for non-hotel guests is telling – they're confident enough in the experience to sell it as a standalone proposition. Valet parking at £90 for 24 hours gives you a sense of the overall price point they're operating at. Given the Leicester Square location, subterranean setting, and genuinely exclusive feel, the pricing seems aligned with what they're delivering, though this is clearly positioned for those who prioritize experience over value.

Insider Tips

Best Time to Visit

Book those 6-7am slots if you want the pool practically to yourself – it's worth the early start for the serene atmosphere before London wakes up. Weekend slots book up fast, so plan well in advance. The pre-booking requirement means spontaneous visits aren't really an option.

What to Focus On

The glow-up smoothie at Refuel Bar has developed a following among early visitors. Focus on the Omorovicza treatments – they use Budapest thermal water technology that's genuinely effective rather than just marketing fluff.

Christoff's Insider Tips

The pre-booked cabanas mean you actually get guaranteed poolside space – no fighting for loungers like at most hotel spasSummer packages run August-September, offering better value than individual treatments if you're planning multiple visitsBeing four floors underground in Leicester Square means you're steps from Piccadilly Circus and Covent Garden but completely removed from the chaos

The Final Verdict

The Retreat at The Londoner succeeds where many hotel spas fail by creating a genuinely exclusive, adults-only sanctuary that feels removed from its tourist-heavy location. The subterranean setting works brilliantly, the pre-booking system ensures quality over quantity, and the integration of high-end treatments with proper relaxation facilities creates a cohesive luxury experience. Yes, it's expensive, and yes, you need to plan ahead, but for those seeking a sophisticated central London wellness escape, this delivers on its promises. The combination of location convenience with genuine tranquillity is rare in London, making this worth the premium for the right audience.

Christoff's Rating:

8.2/10

Perfect For:

Luxury wellness enthusiasts seeking genuine exclusivityCentral London workers needing sophisticated stress reliefCouples wanting an adults-only sanctuary in the heart of the city

The Retreat at The Londoner

The Retreat at The Londoner

Christoff's Take

The Retreat at The Londoner: Leicester Square's Best-Kept Underground Secret

My Honest Review

Atmosphere & Ambiance

Food & Drink

Service & Experience

Value for Money

Insider Tips

Best Time to Visit

What to Focus On

Christoff's Insider Tips

The Final Verdict

Perfect For:

Quick Details

The Retreat at The Londoner

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