Christoff.ai

Simmons

bars•
London
London

Simmons

2 Bateman St, London W1D 4AE, UK

Interactive map
Christoff

Christoff's Take

Insider review

Tucked away on Bateman Street in Soho, Simmons is the sort of place that shouldn't work but absolutely does. This vibrant cocktail bar has built its reputation on serving creative drinks in the most unexpected vessels - think proper china teacups and shareable teapots - creating an Instagram-worthy experience that's become a magnet for London's young, trendy crowd.

Simmons: Where Granny's China Meets Soho's Wildest Nights

A delightfully bonkers cocktail experience in the heart of London's nightlife scene

My Honest Review

Atmosphere & Ambiance

Walking into Simmons feels like stepping into your eccentric aunt's living room if she happened to run an underground rave. The retro decor creates a kitschy-cool environment that's absolutely drenched in neon, giving the space an unmistakably high-energy vibe that scores an impressive 8.8 out of 10 on the liveliness scale. This isn't a place for intimate conversations - with social group scores hitting 8.5 out of 10, it's designed for crowds and group celebrations. The atmosphere transforms dramatically as the evening progresses, particularly on weekends when DJs take over, spinning mashed-up tracks until 2am that get the dance floor moving. The no-frills-fun approach means you're here for the experience rather than refined sophistication, which shows in the modest 4.5 sophistication rating. It's unapologetically trendy, scoring 8.2 on the cutting-edge factor, and the whole setup feels refreshingly spontaneous despite being carefully curated.

Food & Drink

The real star here isn't food - Simmons keeps things focused primarily on the drinking experience with limited food service options. What they lack in culinary offerings, they more than make up for with their creative cocktail program. The drinks arrive in those famous quirky vessels - proper china teacups that look like they've been lifted from your grandmother's best set, and shareable teapots that have become the venue's calling card. These aren't just gimmicks; the presentation genuinely enhances the drinking experience and creates those Instagram-worthy moments that keep people coming back. The cocktails themselves are described as creative, though the focus seems to be as much on the theatrical presentation as the liquid artistry. The teapot format particularly shines for groups, encouraging sharing and adding a communal element to the drinking experience that perfectly matches the venue's group-friendly atmosphere.

Service & Experience

While specific details about service quality aren't extensively documented, the venue operates with a clear understanding of its target demographic - the young, trendy crowd that wants high-energy experiences. Bookings can be made by phone at +44 20 7278 5851, which suggests they're organized enough to handle reservations, particularly important given the group-friendly nature of the venue. The fact that they maintain consistent weekend DJ programming until 2am indicates a level of operational sophistication behind the no-frills facade. The venue's ability to maintain its trendy reputation and attract repeat customers suggests the service delivers on the promised experience, even if the focus leans more toward creating atmosphere than traditional hospitality refinement.

Value for Money

With a price level of 2 out of 4, Simmons positions itself in the moderate range for London cocktail bars, which feels appropriate given the Soho location and unique presentation style. You're paying for the experience as much as the drinks - those teacups and teapots aren't just serving vessels, they're part of the entertainment value. For groups looking to share those signature teapot cocktails, the value proposition becomes even stronger, as the communal aspect stretches both the drink and the budget. The weekend DJ experience adds significant value for those seeking a night out that combines cocktails with dancing, essentially offering club-level entertainment in a bar setting. However, the limited food options mean you'll need to factor in dining elsewhere, which could impact the overall value calculation for a full evening out.

Insider Tips

Best Time to Visit

Weekend nights are when Simmons truly comes alive, with DJs spinning until 2am creating the full high-energy experience. The venue operates Monday through Saturday (closed Sundays), opening at 3pm daily, but the real magic happens after dark. Friday and Saturday nights extend until 2am, making them ideal for the complete experience, while weekday evenings until midnight offer a slightly more relaxed version of the Simmons experience.

What to Focus On

The teapot cocktails are absolutely essential - they're not just drinks, they're the full Simmons experience and perfect for sharing with your group. The creative cocktails served in those famous china teacups are equally Instagram-worthy and give you the full quirky presentation that the venue is known for.

Christoff's Insider Tips

Book by phone rather than hoping to walk in, especially for weekend nights when the DJ experience is in full swing. Come with a group to maximize the fun factor and make the most of those shareable teapot cocktails. The venue's unique factor score of 7.8 means you're getting something genuinely different, but the modest experience depth score suggests it's more about fun than profound cocktail artistry.

The Final Verdict

Simmons succeeds brilliantly at being exactly what it sets out to be: a high-energy, Instagram-friendly cocktail experience that prioritizes fun over sophistication. The combination of creative presentation, retro-kitschy atmosphere, and weekend DJ programming creates something genuinely unique in London's crowded bar scene. While it won't satisfy those seeking quiet conversation or culinary excellence, it delivers an undeniably entertaining night out that justifies its trendy reputation. The venue understands its audience perfectly and executes its concept with confidence, even if the experience leans more toward surface-level entertainment than meaningful depth.

Christoff's Rating:
7.2/10

Perfect For:

groups of friends looking for a fun night outInstagram enthusiasts seeking unique photo opportunitiesyoung professionals wanting high-energy weekend entertainment

Quick Details

1

Simmons

🍸 Cocktail experience
⭐️ Instagram worthy
✨ Trendy
⭐️ High energy
⭐️ Gen z focused

Granny's china teacups meet creative cocktails in this vibrant Soho destination where Instagram-worthy presentation creates genuine fun. The quirky vessel concept - think shareable teapots and vintage china - transforms drinking into an interactive experience that appeals to London's young trendy crowd. Weekend DJs spin mashed-up tracks until 2am, creating high-energy dancing atmosphere in the heart of the West End. The retro-kitschy aesthetic embraces fun over formality, making this perfect for group celebrations where the goal is memorable moments rather than contemplative sipping. While food service remains limited, the focus stays laser-sharp on creative cocktails and energetic atmosphere that keeps the party going well into the night.

What's Great

✓ Creative cocktails in unique vessels creating Instagram moments

✓ Weekend DJs until 2am with high-energy dancing

Keep in Mind

× Limited food service keeps focus primarily on drinking

Christoff

Christoff's Tip:

Hit up weekend nights for the full DJ experience - those teapot cocktails are perfect for sharing with your squad!

Vibe check scores

Trendiness
Sophistication
Noise Level
Uniqueness

Venue details

🕐"Mon-Fri: 3pm-12am, Fri-Sat: 3pm-2am, Sun: Closed"
📍2 Bateman St, London W1D 4AE, UK
💷£££
📞+44 20 7278 5851
🌐Website

Featured In My Guides

Simmons has been featured in 1 of my curated guides. Here's where you can find more context and discover similar spots.

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London's Best Cocktail Bars: Insider Guide to 11 Hidden Gems

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